'Twas
Me First Day with Me Hook
Lisa Ellis
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't
seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"Arrh – Not at ‘tall." the pirate replies, "I be fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have
that before."
"Arrh!," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon
ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine,
really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I
saw you, you had both hands."
"Aye," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded
the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But
the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great,
really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you
were in here you had both eyes."
"Arrh," says the pirate, "One day when I was swabbing me deck, some
gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them--arrgh,
he, pooped--in me eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost
an eye just from that!"
"Well," says the pirate, "'Twas me first day with me hook.”